fk that.
Three stages. One club. Nobody applies — we all got recruited the same way.
Free to use. Free to copy. Print it if you want it on the fridge.
Stage One
You're in the club now.
There are three stages. You don't skip them and you don't do them in a weekend. Pick where you are up there and the whole place changes colour with you.
Certificates for things nobody claps for.
Thirty days without checking his Instagram is an achievement. It's just one nobody hands you a piece of paper for. So: here's the paper.
Printed on proper card, A5, sent in a stiff envelope — postage added at checkout. Or print it at home for free, genuinely, no hard feelings.
For when you can't find the words.
Things to send a friend who's in it. Copy the words, or save the whole thing as a card to text, post or print at home — all free. Or have it properly printed and posted, because a text disappears and a card sits on a windowsill for a year.
Or write your own.
Say your own thing. It comes out as a proper card with the flowers, the lettering and fkthat.co.uk along the bottom — free to save, text or print at home.
0 / 220Swear words. Flowers. Felt tips.
Nobody's ever calmed down by being told to calm down. Colouring in an enormous rude word for forty minutes, though — that does something. Every page is A4 and free to download. The full book is an instant PDF, so you can print it on whatever paper you like, as many times as you like.
The fk that Colouring Book
Things that arrive in an envelope.
Cards are postcard size. Prices are for the thing itself — postage is worked out at checkout and depends where you are. Every order comes with the Stage One card free, because you can't charge admission to a club someone already joined.